Day 86

Day 86 of The Red Shoe Project was a day in bold, fire engine RED,  patent leather pumps.  And looking back now, on the entire day, it was the perfect shoe choice!

 

Last night was a late night writing.  I didn't get to bed til 3:30. My alarm was buzzing a few hours later, as I jumped into my black corporate suit and RED shoes, and headed out the door at 7:15 for a hospital board meeting. Yikes! 

 That's a little early for me these days, but I was wide awake and listened to a CD on Kingdom Giving that was powerfully eye-opening! For some time

now, God has been doing a deep work in me regarding  "M O N E Y"  

That's an all-inclusive term that umbrellas  finances,  spending, investing, philanthropy, generosity, funding, living by faith, and overall giving.  He's showing me His Way vs. My Way.   I'll just say this... The two are quite different.   

I find the whole thing very interesting, but it's like a big piece of choice steak. It's taking me some time to chew it, savor it, and digest it, if you know what I mean.

I don't overly enjoy driving, however, long, quiet rides in the car is a frequent meeting place for me with God... and well, I love that!  

After several meetings and appointments, I headed home and made a quick stop at my favorite little bookstore,  just to see if they had any "treasures."  Yup... I picked myself up powerful book entitled, Prayer on Fire by Fred A. Hartley III.  Just a little treat for me.  I was really tired and looked forward to getting home, throwing on some sweats and curling up on my bed with this book. I decided last minute to pop on the headphones and listen to some worship music as well. What a glorious afternoon in His Presence.  The hours flew by... five of them to be exact.  I rested and God restored me on many levels. We had lovely afternoon together.

The FIRE of God is quite an interesting subject for study.  I have found it to be a significant piece of what's turning out to be an unexpected, intimate romance with The King.  I say that ever so humbly, because what started out to be a mere  "project" of sorts has projected me into a divine dimension of grace that I never knew existed.  It's so deep... so personal... It's rather difficult to put into words, let alone write about it in a blog.  But I have committed to write an honest, daily report of this Red Shoe Project and it would be wrong to omit it entirely.  

You see,  it is an awesome thing to find yourself continually in The Presence of God, but it comes with a price.  The Lord is a Consuming Fire.  The closer you get...  He'll slowly burn away  everything that's unholy.  You think... 

"Great!  That's a good thing.  If He asks me about this, or about that... or even about that thing... I've got all those taken care of now.  My life is in order."   But no... He doesn't ask about any of those things.

Instead, when you're in deep... in that secret place you grow to love so much...  He ever so gently zeros right in on THAT THING.  The thing you totally forgot about. The thing you didn't think was A THING.  The thing that you locked away in the deepest place of your heart, knowing it would never, ever re-surface again. Yeh... that thing.  He brings you right to it.  Could He really require THAT of me?  Oh... so that's what it felt like when He asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.   THAT thing is My Isaac... and He's asking me to sacrifice it.  Really?  Woe!!!!!  That's heavy duty!  

Almost every morning I wake up to that big sign on my wall that says: 

"B E L I E V E !" 

The Lord continually asks me... "Will you BELIEVE?"  And I always respond, "Of course...  I will BELIEVE you for anything!"  But now, three months into this project,  He's saying...

 "Will you BELIEVE me for THAT?  

Will you trust me?"

Isn't there another deal we can make? Why does it have to be THAT? Can't You test me on all those other things that I have in order first?  And then, maybe later on... in a few months or so, come back to THAT?

 How can I even contemplate saying,  "No... I can't' BELIEVE you for THAT!"  I'm already so far beyond the point of no return.  "No" isn't an option any more.  And I refuse say it!  I won't! I can't!  It's going to have to be... 

"Yes Lord...  I will trust you.  

I choose to Believe.  

Just help my unbelief."

Please don't think for a moment that this is easy, because it's not.  It's a difficult price to pay.  Your heart says, "YES. YES."  Your flesh says,  "NO.  NO."  

I wrote a book once.  It's called The Yellow Brick Road: A Woman's Journey to the Edge and Back.  It's about almost falling off the edge and miraculously, by the Grace of God, making it back.  This Red Shoe Project is a new story about going to the edge... a different edge...  and jumping into the Ocean of Glory. There's no fear.  And there's no coming back.  You don't want to come back. 

Does the Lord require this of everyone?  I don't know.  I only know what He's requiring of me.  And I choose YES!  I get to wear my RED shoes. And I get to rest my head on the chest of God, where I can hear the beat of His heart.  I long to go even deeper... to feel what He feels... to see what He sees... to love what He loves.  Yeh... I do know what I'm asking, and I can't believe that I'm asking it.  But that's what lies beyond the Ocean of Glory.  

So that was my day.  Heavy duty, but gloriously awesome!  It's back to The Yellow Brick Road tomorrow.  I'll see you there.  I'm the one wearing the RED shoes.

Gail

Day 85

Day 85 of The Red Shoe Project had me all around town in my new RED flats, talking to people about...

"Hearing from God".   

Here are a few observations that came out of those discussions:

1. TAKE THE TIME.   A conversation, with anyone, takes time and God is no different.  Some people participated in an assignment to set 15-30 minutes aside this week to hear from God.  Guess what?  Those who didn't do the assignment, didn't hear from God... because they didn't take the time. Anyone can fall into this trap, even long-time Christians.  Life gets busy and chatting with God is often put on the back burner for a day.  Before you know it a day becomes two days. Two days can become two weeks.  And two weeks can become two months or even two years.  That's a long time of  "no conversation"   with God.   Whether it's your first time, your daily time, or your first time in a long time... it always starts with making it a priority to take the time and do it.

2. FREE  YOURSELF FROM DISTRACTIONS.  Distractions are anything that will pull your attention away from what you are trying to accomplish.  That said... UNPLUG!  Shut off the television. Turn off your cell phone.  Click off the computer.  Turn down the music.  Get alone.  And get to a place that's quiet. Now you can focus your attention on God without distraction.

3.  ASK AND WAIT.  Most people don't hear from God because that don't ask Him anything.  They don't engage in any kind of conversation.  The best way to get someone to talk is to ask questions that require a response other than yes or no.  Is it that difficult to say, "God, I'd really like to know what you think about this?"  Then wait for Him to respond. As silly as it may sound, some people just don't wait around for an answer.

4.  KEEP IT SIMPLE.  Many people approach prayer time in very formal, structured, religious ways that over-complicate things.  Instead of a "Chat with Dad" it becomes a one-sided, fearfully religious, perfected obligation with God Almighty.  No wonder it doesn't work.  There may be times when getting down on your knees and saying the Our Father is a great blessing. But I encourage you to also consider a plethora of prayerful opportunities in which you just "talk with God from your heart."   Use common words and tell it like it is. God is eager to communicate with you. Don't let man-made religiosity build barriers that keep you from simply "talking with Him."

5. GET AROUND THE EXPERTS.  Often God can be speaking to people, and they don't even know it. That's right.  No one has ever pointed out to them how that all works.  So, if you are looking to hear from God, find people that you believe are hearing from God, and ask them how it works.  Talk to them about your experiences and listen to theirs.  Be open for instruction. Remember, it's working for them, it's not working for you.

They can help you determine what you are doing wrong, (if anything), as well as point out to you what you are doing right. I'll never forget a young man in one of my groups who told a story of how he heard a voice tell him to "walk away" from a situation.  I told him, "That's God speaking to you!" 
 "Really?" he responded.  He just never considered that.  He was then able to recognize God's voice in the future... and it just accelerated from there. All he needed was someone to point it out to him and assure him that it was God.

6.  LOCATION. LOCATION. LOCATION.
 God speaks to people in some of the most unexpected places.  Yes, He does speak to some people in church.  But He also speaks to people while they are driving the car, fishing,  painting, walking, cooking, washing the dishes, folding the clothes, raking the leaves, working on model trains, reading, running, swimming, hiking, listening to music... the list could go on forever. Don't limit your opportunities to a church pew.  God often speaks to people when they are relaxed, content and unguarded.  So what does that for you?  Where's your happy place? Don't be surprised to find God meeting you there!

7.  IDENTIFY YOUR UNIQUE ENTRY POINTS.  Where and
when do you feel God the strongest?  You know... that feeling that "God is near."  You may find yourself filled with love, joy or peace.  Perhaps it causes you to cry... stand in awe... or lift your hands?

It's usually a "WOW" moment that stands out.  You may find that this divine "tugging on your heart" occurs when you are in a specific place.  Maybe church? or at home in a specific area? or at Grandmas house?  Sometimes it happens when you are listening to a specific song, or speaker... or when you're around a particular group of people.  Looking for God?  START THERE.  Eventually you'll develop a sensitivity to His presence. It will get easier, but you have to start somewhere.

These are just a few thoughts that may help you "Hear from God."  I've found that my RED shoes have brought me through all of these steps at one time or another.  They really work!

Gail

Day 84

On the morning of Day 84 of The Red Shoe Project I awoke quite startled by a dream. For over 8 months now, God has spoken to me on several occasions that He was birthing something in me.
Something spiritual.  A ministry perhaps?  A call of God to do something specific on His behalf?  I don't know exactly.  It's like not knowing if it's a girl or boy...  But I do know this:  I'm spiritually pregnant and it's only a matter of time before we all know "with what?"

So in this dream...  I was in the most beautiful room... all white and off white in color.  Right in the center is a kingside bed. And there's my Ob-gyn (from real life) and she says to me,
"It's time.  I'm here to help you deliver this baby!  Be careful, don't push yet!" 
Wow!  Ok... Yeh... I wasn't expecting this.  I haven't even been thinking about any of this.  That's why it startled me.  The dream was so real... so vivid.   I woke up in a bit of a panic, grabbed the phone and called my spiritual mother, only to get re-routed to her prayer partner.  A mistake?  I think not.  There was no one better to talk to at that particular moment than this Prayer Warrior of God... "Jean."  Hey, it's been a long time since I've birthed a baby... but I can still remember quite vividly the challenge and pain involved.  Having a Prayer Warrior on my "Birthing Team" is a TOP PRIORITY!

As I jumped out of bed, threw on some sweats and RED sneakers, I could feel the irregularity in my breathing.  It's not that I'm afraid to "give birth."  It's just a new thing, and new things like that can be a little intimidating and scary.  Do you remember giving birth to your first child?  I remember thinking to myself, "Ok... I understand how it all works, but I just can't figure out how that big baby is going to come out of little ole me."  LOL.   Well it's the same with this.  I get that God is birthing something spiritual in me, and that eventually it will manifest itself... but how that actually happens is a bit of a mystery.

So as I took Pauly out for his morning walk, the Holy Spirit just kept saying to me...

"BREATH, Gail!".  

Focus on getting that systematic breathing down. 

 Don't get all nervous and panic.  

It all works out just fine, 

but it will be a lot easier if you stay calm and breathe.

You can do that!" 

 Yes... I can do that!  So I'm not focussing on the craziness of it all... What could happen... What might happen... All the unknowns.  I just can't let my mind go there!  Instead, I'm focussing on Him... worshipping Him... holding onto Him... loving Him... and believing that all will work out just fine. I'm watering my spirit with worship and staying calm.  I'm thankful my Spiritual Mom and her Prayer Partner are rocking me in prayer. It truly makes a difference.

So like many expectant mothers, I don't know the exact day or hour,  but it's coming soon.  For now, it's official, I'm in RED shoes,  pregnant and ready to POP!

Gail

Day 83

Day 83 of The Red Shoe Project found me back in that church I told you about, wearing my little RED shoes.

There's something about the atmosphere there.  I can't wait to get there to hear what God is going to say and see what He is going to do.  I always try to arrive about 45 minutes early to insure myself a good seat near the front and on the isle, otherwise, it ends up being standing room only.  I'm here to touch God... well, be touched by Him.  I'm here to worship Him freely, without rush.  I'm here to see what happens?  What will God say through the minister? What will He say through the testimonies  and words of His people? What will He do?  Will someone give their life to Him today?  Will someone be healed?  Will someone be set free of the things of this world that so easily hold us back from experiencing the fullness of what God has to offer?

The first time I arrived at this church,  I got as close to the front as possible.  I wanted to see what was going on.  Was it true?  Was God really doing something in this place?  I wanted to know!  I wanted to see it with my own eyes.  I wanted to judge for myself.  And if I found it to be true... then what must I do to be a part?  What would God require of me?  Forget all the rituals and traditions that I so dearly love.  I'm not going to let my self, my routine or the way I prefer things...  get in the way.  I can toss those out the window if it's really God.  Yes, if God is moving, I want to move with Him. I don't want to miss out!  God forbid that I become a modern day pharisee and miss Christ in my midst.  No way! I wont let that happen.  I would see for myself,  test it with God's Word and know if it was truly God.


So there I sat, upfront, with a view of everything.  I didn't really know the music, so I found myself being a bit more of an observer than I care to admit to.  Of course I would proceed with caution until I knew it was undoubtedly God. Even though the music was not what I was accustomed to,  I recognized the atmosphere immediately.  It was the same as that of a revival I attended decades ago.  People would line up outside my home church, a couple hours in advance,  just to get into the house of God. Then they would stay sometimes til after midnight. So much for a 7:00 - 8:30 pm midweek service.  Not during revival!  This went on for months and months and months!  Without argument, people's lives were changed for the better!


When I sat and looked around the front of the church here, I saw people singing and dancing, lifting up their hands, praying, hugging, some crying tears of joy, some were even laughing.  They all seemed
so happy.
 Happy about God.  Happy about Life.  Happy to be there.  Yup!
Happy. Happy. Happy.   And you know what?  I found myself to be quite happy.  Even as an observer, I found myself happily content, satisfied, and filled with wonder.  I felt like I belonged there.  I felt home.  (And you know that there's no place like home.  Right?)  It was really nice...  really nice!

Shouldn't church be like that?

Here's what I didn't see.  I didn't see fancy clothes.  I didn't see sour puss faces.  I didn't see people eager to leave.  I didn't see contention among the people.
I just saw a lot of smiles...  a lot of people pressing in to God...  a lot of people hungry for God and waiting for Him.  And while they were waiting, they seemed to be celebrating Him.  Wow!  It was all about Him!  Jesus.  Jesus.  Jesus. 

So here I am, back again today.  I don't know... I think this might be my 4th or 5th time now.  Does that mean I'm becoming a regular?  I can't seem to stay away.  Like a magnet, I find myself drawn here.  Up until now, I've told everyone that I'm here for the "Special Speakers" that they have had.  But today, there is no special speaker.  The pastor is speaking today.  And boy did he speak. And WOW did God speak through Him.  Oh my gosh... it was great! So what made it so great?  What made it so God?

Well... let me see.  For one thing, the anointing was all over this man.  Do you know what the anointing is?  That's when God's Spirit clothes himself in someone. It's a perfect example of Divine Partnership.  The speaker may be good or not so good on there own... it's irrelevant, because when God partners with them, that Divine Touch and Infilling brings the whole experience to a stratospheric level that's  humanly impossible.  It's pretty funny because you can see the personality of the man or woman involved. Yes, their unique characteristics are right there in front of you.  But you can also see the Love and Power and Wisdom of God as well.  When you know the person, it's even more intense, because you know that's not them!

"Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit says the Lord."

Zechariah 4:6

It's as if God is speaking to everyone specifically, even though it's just one message.  Sometimes the person will speak to a specific individual about things that only God could know.  People feel God tugging on their heart so powerfully that they can't help themselves... next thing you know, they're running to the altar.  They are praying. They're praising. They're dropping everything... their agenda... their life... their sins... and turning to God. They're stopping their life and following Christ!  But people don't do that for people.  They only do that for God!  God makes himself known, and people can't turn away... they can't leave like they came.  If they do... they end up unhappy.  And... if they don't walk away... they end up at the front the next week and the week after,  dancing and singing with the happy people.  (You get the picture.)


And what about me?  Well, I guess I'm up there in the front because I mean business too. I want whatever God wants.  So, like anything else in life, I'm wearing my RED shoes to this church and taking one step at a time, one day at a time, one service at a time.

God spoke to me today through that pastor. The pastor said some general things that could have meant a number of things to a number of people... BUT inside my head, God was zoning right down to the specifics of My Life and My Heart.  No one else could hear what He was speaking to me, but His voice seemed to be on loud speaker within me...  challenging me to take action!

Yeah... so I was one of those people running to the altar, hands lifted high and shouting out to God, "Jesus!" There I was confessing to Him in my mind that I heard Him and that I wanted His way, not my way! Why? Because I know His way always works out best! 

Strangest thing...I thought I've been happy for a long time now... and I have.  But since I've been popping into this church... in this atmosphere of wonder... there's another happy emerging.  A happy that's got me singing and dancing. A happy that's got me smiling, without trying.  It's a different happy... a deeper happy.

A deeper happy is a good thing.  It's a God-thing!

Gail