Today was
Day 324 of
The Red Shoe Project, and I couldn't stand it any longer! My two pairs of
RED flats are completely worn out, so I headed out the door with a mission in mind:
To get a new pair of RED shoes!
Today was a bit of a solemn day for me. My heart has been aching! What's with that? Sometimes I wonder about the time when God told me I would be married. Without my even realizing what He was doing, He healed my wounded heart. Somehow -- just hanging out with God each day -- my heart recovered. You know... if I knew He was doing that, I would have put my guard up. But I didn't know. I was just enjoying fellowship with Him and -- well -- His love is like a medicine. It soothes and it heals!
"I will remove from you your heart of stone
and give you a heart of flesh."
Ezekiel 36:26
Yes... I realize this scripture is out of context, but it so symbolizes the miraculous work that God has done in me. On another note... Remember the movie, The Wizard of Oz? As Dorothy is about to go home, the Tin Man proclaims, "Now I know I have a heart, because it's breaking!"
I must admit, I don't like my heart being so exposed. I don't like it at all! BUT... I've come to realize that when I put up my guard, I not only shut the door to what I want to protect myself from -- I shut the door to everything. Let's face it, relationships are effected when we put up walls -- perhaps even my relationship to God. So as challenging as it is, I've chosen not to close down -- shut out -- or cover up my heart. I want my heart to remain tender.
Don't get me wrong, my heart isn't available for everyone and anyone. And I'd be lying if I said my heart was totally exposed and unguarded. BUT... in my black and white world, I'm learning to be gray. I want to receive all the love that God is willing to pour on me, and I'm trusting that He will protect me from predators.
That said... the Lord has been prompting my heart these last two days for more alone time with Him. With my oldest daughter up in New England now, and Pauly -- the bulldog -- no longer at my side, it's been different. I don't want to say lonely, because I'm not lonely. I just have more time to myself that I'm not used to. He reminded me today of what He told me.
"It will be just Me and You for a while!"
I wonder how long "a while" is?
LOL.
10 days?
10 weeks?
10 years?
No matter. He's tugging on my heart
to join Him in the Prayer Closet.
A dear friend of mine recently told me about a time in which she was really sick. She had a bad reaction to some medicine she was given by her doctor. At one point, she started to fade out and thought she was going to slip away to Heaven. She noted that the "drawing power" to leave her body and be with the Lord was magnetic. In that moment, she thought to herself... "I wish I'd done more" and BOOM! she came back.
Tonight I was talking with a student of mine. We were discussing near death experiences and people who have claimed to have seen Heaven. She spoke of an article she read in which a woman described what prayers looked like in Heaven. Apparently they were portrayed as these vibrant streams of color -- the most vivid ones being the prayers of mothers for their children. WOW! Talk about a change of perspective. I just wanted to run right home, get in the prayer closet, and pray up a storm!
It doesn't matter whether or not this person or that person has really been to Heaven or not. Their story and perception of prayer has enlightened me -- inspired me -- motivated me -- perhaps even elevated me to that next level of prayer.
I can't resist the tugging any longer.
I'm going in -- without my RED shoes.
I'll wear them tomorrow.
Tonight I'm responding to The One
who holds my heart in His hands.
Gail
Day 325
I've been running around in my new
RED shoes on this
325th Day of
The Red Shoe Project. It's been a great day, but I can't wait for it to be over! Are you kidding me? He's been tugging at my heart all day, and I can't seem to slip away from life and get myself into the prayer closet for any extended amount of time. Sorry -- but a few minutes just won't do!!!
Today was a
"Bonfire" day. It's my busiest day for ministry. The morning starts early with Pre-Bonfire prayer and set up. The early afternoon is a fellowship luncheon. Later in the day, I meet with my mentor for testimony time, teaching and debriefing. And the evening is my church Bible study. It's a jam packed day and I love every minute of it -- except for when Jesus is calling -- when He's tugging on my heart strings for me to get alone with Him. I wish I could just drop everything and go, but that wouldn't be right. I have responsibilities.
The Holy Spirit has been relentless in His pursuit of me today. He talked with me throughout the morning. He seemed part of every conversation I had. We chatted continually -- mostly in my head. Just call us inseparable! By late afternoon, I started talking about the
"Divine Drawing" I was experiencing.
"Divine Drawing" is when the Lord
magnetically pulls you into His presence.
Our Bible study always starts with the telling of testimonies. One of the first to contribute, talked about sharing his faith with a friend. Somehow we ended up talking about John 6:44 in which Jesus states,
"No one can come to me
unless the Father who
sent me draws him"
The next person shared a prayer that he had learned back in his youth while attending Catholic church. The words of the prayer were awesome! It lead us into a discussion of the difference between reciting a liturgical prayer vs. saying the prayer whole-heartedly unto God with utmost sincerity. Same words -- just one is repetition and the other is truly heart felt. What a difference! The second will draw you right into the prayer chamber, front and center with God.
That got us talking about music. Everyone loves the Worship Team at our church. One of my Christian brothers always says...
"Worship is when the music
is no longer just a song."
Everyone could identify with this example. They have all experienced getting lost in the music with their souls crying out to God! A gifted worship leader doesn't just enter into the Holy of Holies in song, while the congregation watches. Oh no! He enters in with passion, leaves the door open and beckons the congregation to come in with him! Praise the Lord! Is there anything better than having the Holy Spirit draw you into the Holy of Holies? I think not!
Our conversation tonight continued for two hours straight. We never did get to the Bible study. It was as if the Lord had drawn us into His chosen conversation for the evening. That's fine with all of us! The Holy Spirit is always welcome to direct our group. What was the result? "The Prayer Pact."
There were five of us tonight at group. One happened to mention that he gets on his knees when he prays at night. He noted that he often feels a little inhibited when we pray at the end of our meetings, standing up in a circle, holding hands. Even in our group, he feels compelled to kneel. With that, I announced...
"Feel free to kneel anytime you want, Brother!
You have total liberty to do that here.
As we went to close our meeting in prayer, one brother said to the other...
"If you want to get on your knees right now,
I'll get on my knees with you."
The rest of us looked at one another.
"Well, we can't let you guys do that and not follow!"
We all got down on our knees and prayed together.
When it was over, we made
"The Prayer Pact."
"Let's just do this all the time!"
"Why not?"
"I'm in!"
"Me too!"
"Count me in!"
We turned and gave each other high fives!
"Yes! We're all in!"
So what do you think? Did the Holy Spirit draw us into that decision?
How great is that? Five people agreed with one another to get on their knees and pray together at all our upcoming Bible studies.
Yeah... that's a God-thing!
Amen.
I came home and my blog was waiting to be written. I totally enjoyed recounting the details of the day. But even still, I can feel that...
TUG -- TUG -- TUG
No worries! My calendar for tomorrow is clear and
I've reserved the entire day for Him. Cant' wait!
In RED shoes,
Gail
