Day 205

Today is Day 205 of  The Red Shoe Project.  Once again, I am sporting my RED flip flops around town.  Today has been a challenging day.  It was a day of testing and I failed miserably.
The good news is that I know where I stand on things... at the bottom with no place to go but up. There is plenty of room improvement!
The experts say that " F-A-I-L"   stands for
First Attempt In Learning.   Okay... I can live with that.



Back in my college days, some professors gave students the choice of what type of test they wanted to take.  There was the True-False and Multiple Choice Test, or The Essay Test.  Although it was, by no means, the popular choice, I always chose Essay.



The True/False and Multiple Choice tests always confused me.  I could go into the test knowing everything forwards and backwards and still get question after question wrong.
I would get caught up in the wording of the
questions and answers, so much so, that I didn't know what was actually being asked.  I always felt like I was somehow being tricked.  The test became more about what the question was really asking as opposed to what the answer was, plain and simple.

At least with the Essay version, I felt like I had a good chance at showing that I actually understood the material.  I'd just write down everything I knew and I'd usually end up with an "A."

Lately I've noticed that all of God's tests  have been  "Non-Essay."  Apparently,  He just wants a "YES" or a "NO" answer.   I hate those tests!   It's like when an attorney is questioning someone and they say... "Just answer the question... Yes? or No?"   They don't want any explanation.   Maybe God doesn't want any excuses?   Maybe He just wants to know if I'll do what He asks or not... No dissertation is necessary.  Ouch!

A couple weeks ago, I was at the Bonfire Bible study.  At the end of the meeting, a couple of the women were laying hands on people and praying for them.  One by one, people were falling out under the power of God.  Later that afternoon, I remember asking God if He could give me that kind of prayer power.  He said... "Then what would that person do?  or that one... what would they do?"   He was basically reminding me that He distributes gifts to everyone.

It's not about me having all the gifts 

and doing everything myself.  

It's about everyone in the body 

being a part of what He's doing.  

Today I was thinking about a woman I know that has a specific need.  Her need is definitely not my area of ministry.  I've been trying to help her find the proper resources for her need and move her in that direction for assistance.  Unfortunately, even those who are well equipped to minister in that area can't seem to help her.  She's one of those people that seems to be slipping through the cracks.

I was brought up in a church that always taught that you should never expect others to do what you, yourself wouldn't do.  It's always good to see oneself as part of the solution.   So in my frustration of realizing that no one is helping this woman, I had to ask myself, "Would I lend a helping hand?  Could I meet her needs? "  I so much wanted to answer "YES!"  but it was so far out of my comfort zone...  so great an inconvenience...  so not something I was really equipped to do.   I couldn't say it!

I hate not saying "YES"  to God!  

My heart's desire is to always say 

"YES" to Him, no matter what.  

With that, I felt that I had failed.  More dying to self, perhaps????  Mind you... God wasn't actually asking me to do that.  Sometimes He tests me just to see what I'd say or do.  Maybe this was just a test?  Regardless, I wasn't real happy with my results.

I ended up a bit on the "down" side... so I took a late afternoon walk to talk it out with Dad.   He reminded me of the story in the Bible when a father asks his two sons to do something... one says he will and doesn't do it.  The other hems and haws, says he won't,  but does.   Long story, short,  the father favored the one who did it, regardless.




God spoke some other things to me on that walk.  He pointed out all the things that I'm doing right these days.  He was glad that I decided to walk and talk with Him instead of taking off in another direction and avoiding any conversation with Him.  He doesn't mind that I wrestle things out with Him.  But sometimes, like today,  He tells me to lighten up a little and not be so hard on myself.

I know that when God wants to do something, He'll provide the grace necessary.  He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called.  I may have failed today's test, but that's okay.  I'm realizing I'm not in kindergarden anymore.  Today's test was more like The Bar Exam.  LOL.  Next time, I'll do better.  Slowly, but surely I will be a "YES" girl in RED shoes!

Right now,  I'm taking a little study break and chilling out.

Gail

P.S.  Growing up, my natural dad never pushed me in my studies.
I was always a straight A student, and it was never because my dad
enforced that with a heavy hand.  My heavenly Father is much the same.
He never demands perfection of me.
(We all know that I'm not perfect, and I never will be.  I'm okay with that.)
I just want to be the best Gail I can be for God.  I want to give it all I've got!

Day 204

Today is the 204th Day of  The Red Shoe Project.  The weather is sunny and beautiful here in Sarasota, Florida... perfect for RED flip flops.  A dear friend came by this afternoon and whisked me away for a "Girl's Day Out."  What a blast we had!  We had a light lunch and then planned to stop by the mall for an errand she needed to take care of.  But God was stirring up such wonderfully divine conversation during lunch, we decided to detour from that plan.  Neither of us wanted to interrupt what God was doing, so we bypassed the car and sat back down for a hot tea and allowed the flow from the Father's heart to continue.

While we we sitting in the coffee shop, chatting,  I realized God was speaking something that wasn't just for us.  Right there and then I said to my friend,
"I believe God wants me to share this in today's blog."  I made a mental note to bathe the thought in prayer and see if, in fact,  that's where God wanted to go.

Unexpectedly my 5:30 appointment was rescheduled to 8 p.m.,  so needless to say, I had a couple hours to kill.  After re-adjusting my schedule, I realized that I didn't have time to run home, so I found the nearest Starbucks, ordered an ice tea and got comfortable in one of those over-sized chairs.  After reading my Bible and doing some research, I pulled out my notebook and asked God about today's blog.  

He confirmed that He wanted to speak 

a specific Word to someone.

Earlier, my friend and I were talking about a lamb being caught in the thicket.  Sometimes the thicket represents sin.  But the thicket can also simply represent a place you're stuck in.  

Sometimes a sheep just wanders off.  It doesn't mean to.  It just gets caught up munching on a particular patch of grass and when it looks up, the rest of the gang is gone.   "Where'd they go?"  



When a sheep gets isolated from the flock, it becomes easy prey for attack.  Sometimes it can get distracted and wander even further away.  Sometimes it's been hurt and simply lays down to lick its wounds.  A sheep may even slip into a ditch and find that it can't get out.  Worse case scenario, the sheep is carried off by a predator, ravished and sometimes even left for dead.   

This I know...

Jesus is the Great Shepherd. 

Scripture clearly states that when one of His sheep goes missing,  He leaves the 99 and goes after the 1.  Today, I felt very strongly that God was speaking to someone that was caught in the thicket and unable to move.  They are stuck and wondering, "Where's my God?"  In their own way, they're crying out, "Help me, Lord!"  If that's you, God wants you to know...

 He's coming for you!  

That's right... He's coming for YOU!  You know who you are.  Right now, you're wondering,  "Is she talking about me?"   YES!  I am talking about you.  You know it because the Spirit within you is bearing witness to you as you read this.  You are thinking, "This is crazy... she can't be talking about me."  And I'm confirming to you  right now,  IT IS YOU.   He's talking to YOU!  In this silly little blog about RED shoes,  He's calling to you...

"I'm coming little lamb.

I hear your cry.

I know exactly where you are.

I love you.

I have not forgotten you.

Stay put.  

I will take you out of that place.  

I will lift you onto my shoulders

 and carry you back to the fold, myself.  

Be patient and wait.  

Be still and know that I am God!"

That is today's word.  If it's for you, receive it.  And if not, take confidence in knowing that if you ever get stuck in a place you don't belong, The Great Shepherd will come for you.

What I really love about this is that God's Word is timeless.  So you may read this tonight, and know that God is speaking specifically to YOU.  Someone else may read this three days from now and realize that this word is for them.  There will even be some that won't read this until it's in book form.  It may be a year from now, or even five years from now.  Even still, He will speak it to them personally for that specific time.  This "timeless" thing does have its advantages.

I'm kicking off my Ruby Reds  now, believing that God has spoken to those who are stuck and calling out to Him for help.  

Know that my prayers are with you.

Gail

Day 203

It's Day 203 of  The Red Shoe Project -- a much needed day of rest!  With the exception of throwing on an old, scruffy pair of RED shoes to bring Pauly for a walk, I spent the rest of the day indoors, comfortable and casual in RED socks.  I soaked up all that God had to offer within the confines of my home.  Between whispered words of prayer, my Bible study, watching some programs I recorded about end time events, and listing to Pandora worship, I am full to the gills.

I love filling up like that, but then I have to get outdoors to "live life" as well.  It's not enough to have a bunch of knowledge stuffed in my mind.  There's no story in that.  I've got to get out into the world, experience life and apply God's Word to it.  That's when it gets interesting.  I can always find a good story in that!



While I was lounging around today, pondering the things of God, I kept thinking about an interesting picture that I found on Pinterest the other day.  It was a color photo showing "the tip of an iceberg."  

The water was so clear,  that the part of the iceberg that was hidden under the water was visible as well.  It was massive!  It had to be at least three times the size of what was above the water.


In my book, The Yellow Brick Road:  A Woman's Journey to the Edge and Back,  I talk about a time, many years ago, when I was recovering from a devastating divorce, and experiencing such severe anxiety that my doctor had me heavily medicated.  Perhaps the lowest point for me, during those days, was when I realized that I could be medicated for the rest of my life and that  I might not fulfill God's divine purpose for me.

"I lowered my head, disappointed in where life had brought me.  
'God, please help me,' I whispered. 
 As tears steamed down my face and onto my lap, 
God spoke to my heart firmly, insistently:
'Don't you give up on Me, Gail!  Don't you give up!  
You are so close to the end of this valley.  
All the gifts, visions, dreams, and ministry that I've
told you about are right around the corner.  
Don't give up!  You need to understand that 
I've only shown you the tip of the iceberg. 
There is so much more that awaits you!  
By this time next year, you'll barely recognize your life.  
It will be so different.  Don't give up, Gail!'"

That "God-moment" was transforming for me, to say the least.  And yes, a year later my life was totally different!  I share this, because we all go through valleys.  They can be dark and somewhat discouraging times.  Know that God has not abandoned you.  He's right there beside you.  Talk to Him.

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,  for you are with me..."

Psalm 23:4a

The promises that God has made to me are pretty massive... And to think that that's only what He's told me about.  It's just the "tip of the iceberg!" WOW!  I know, by faith, that He is a Promise Keeper, never  a Promise Breaker.  That's not the way He works.  Never has, never will.  

Ephesians 3:20 says...

"Now to Him who is able

to do immeasurably more 

than all we ask or imagine, 

according to His power 

that is at work within us..."

Let's BELIEVE together!

In RED shoes, 

Gail

Day 202

It's Day 202 of  The Red Shoe Project.  I didn't rush out of bed this morning.  Something was different.  I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere.  Eventually I did pry myself from the comfort of those covers, got dressed, and popped on my RED sneakers.  Out the door, I headed, for my three mile "Walk n' Talk"  with Dad.


The other day, a friend of mine was talking about a sheep being caught in the thicket.  She mentioned that sometimes the shepherd will purposely leave the sheep alone for a few days to allow it to tire itself out.  


He does that so the sheep wont be freaking out upon its removal from the thorns.  If that happens, the sheep could rip itself to shreds upon rescue.  When the shepherd does return, he gently removes the tired animal from the bramble and carries him home on his shoulders.

I'm thinking that today is the day 

that I finally gave up fighting -- 

holding onto my life, as it is,

so that I might actually receive

what Christ has in store for me.

This is a good thing!  But seriously...   Day 202?   Has it  really taken me 202 days of wearing RED shoes to  stop  being so hard-headed with God...  so stubborn,  unmoldable,  unteachable  and insistent on keeping a tight hold on things that don't really belong in my life?   Things like:

Mindsets, Ideas, Plans,  Perspectives, Routines, Goals and Endeavors?

Over the years, there have been occasions in which I've visited a chiropractor for a spinal adjustment.
It's always a little crazy having someone "crack"  you.  But when they do...  Woolah!  everything literally pops into place.  It's a wonderful thing!

 The key, however, is that
 you have to be relaxed.  

If you are tight and tense, nothing is going to slide back into place.  It's going to stay right where it is... jammed in a position that it doesn't belong in.  That's why there's so much pain and discomfort.


Sometimes something can be out of place for so long that I just get used to it.
I put up with it,  maneuver around it and figure out how to compensate for it. Then I just kind of forget about it.  I guess I just pretend it's not there and look through it.   Then one day, someone comes along and says, "What's that?"

I respond, "What?" 

And they say... "That!  What's that big thing doing here?"  

I squint my eyes and tilt my head.
"You mean that?"  I ask.

"Yeah... that!  What's it 
doing here?"

I respond..."I don't know. 
It's always been here.  
It doesn't budge! 
We're stuck with it."

Next thing you know that person walks over,  picks it up and carries it off to the dumpster.  "There... it's gone now,"  he says,   "Let's get to work!"
That person is God.

Okay, so how come I couldn't do that?  I thought for sure that I had I tried to move that thing many times and... nothing!  I could never seem to get it to move.

Many years ago, I was in my twenties and co-pastoring a church up north.  Somehow, word got to me that a few of the ladies in the church referred to me as "The Ice Princess."  They perceived me as being cold, emotionless and unloving.  That broke my heart because I knew that wasn't the case.  These were women that I continually prayed for.  I loved them.  How could they possibly think that of me?
When I talked to God about it, He pointed out that as powerful as those feelings I had were,  they were all tucked within my heart... a place that others couldn't see.    "Well, I'm just not an overly emotional person,"  I thought.  "I'm reserved.  I've always been that way.  That's just who I am."

"No."  said the Lord. 

 "You've learned to be that way."   

When I was a very young girl, I was molested.  With that said, I learned, at a young age, to keep a secret.  I learned to keep things like emotions tucked away.  That was a long time ago, but as life went on,  I guess I continued to keep things tucked away,  not even realizing it.

It was a blind spot for me.

A Blind Spot is something that's hidden from your line of vision.  
It's there but you just can't see it.

God's words to me meant I could change.  I remember bowing my head that day, with tears streaming down my cheeks and saying...
 
"Alright, God.  You're going to have to help me with this.  
Help me open my heart so that what's inside shows on the outside as well."  

For the first time, I relaxed and let him pop things back into place.  He gently applied pressure here and there and things began to shift.  I kept coming back to Him for adjustments, until I was consistently responding the way I was always meant to.

So here I am today, once again, ready to be adjusted by God.  I'm not sure exactly where He's going to take me, but I know this... it's where I'm meant to be.  There will be pressure applied here and there.  It may even hurt a little as he re-adjusts things that are out of sorts.  But I'm closing my eyes, taking slow deep breaths and relaxing.  I can feel myself already letting go.  I've stopped rustling around.   I'm not holding onto to anything anymore just because it's been around for as long as I can remember.

 I'm wearing RED shoes, listening to the heartbeat of my Savior and trusting that He knows what He's doing.

Okay God, I'm all yours!

Gail