First things first... This prayer thing is not easy. The prayer part is awesome, it's the aftermath that's brutal. Once I'm out of the prayer closet, that devil is on my tail continuously. I hate that! It's a constant battle, but no matter what, I'm not giving in! I didn't come all this way -- 294 days -- to throw the towel in. No way! I will pray in the closet and out of the closet, continuously, to the glory of God!
Perhaps that's why the Apostle Paul said:
"Pray without ceasing." (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
"I will pray with my spirit, but I will also pray with my mind..."
"I speak in tongues more than all of you." (1 Corinthians 14:15, 18)
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. Be on the alert, and always keep on praying for all the saints." (Ephesians 6:19)
There's something else on my mind that I want to talk about today. During the worship service, I found myself melting in the presence of God, tears rolling down my cheeks. It was wonderful! Peace surrounded me. God was near. Do you know what God said to me?
"You don't always have to be so strong, Gail."
He's said that to me a few times. Funny thing is, I didn't think I was trying to be strong. I wonder if I clothe myself each day with some sort of strength -- toughness -- shield of protection and I'm not even aware of it. Is that possible?
Remember the blog on "The Holy Ghost Hug?" (Day 275) When that woman was holding me in her arms praying for me, I felt like a layer of something melted right off me. God spoke those same words to me then. The scary thing is... Without that layer of protection, I am vulnerable. I don't know if I like that! But that day, God caught me off guard. I felt safe at The Bonfire. I felt safe in my friend's custody -- in her arms -- actually, in God's arms.
vulnerable - susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.
I know that in the natural, we unconsciously put up walls of protection in life, but I'm reminded that although walls keep out what we are afraid of, they can sometimes keep out God as well. Do you know what I'm saying? When we shield our heart from the world -- when we say, "No one can come in here!" -- sometimes God gets locked out as well. We don't mean to lock Him out, but we do it all the same.
Of course I know that God can break through any obstacle. But I also know that the Holy Spirit doesn't work that way. He doesn't barge into our hearts! Nope! He's a melter -- He melts things away in His Love. I bet that's what He did that day, and that's what He did today!
I talked with my friend Jim after church today. He announced to me, "I got a breakthrough today! During the worship, God peeled off another layer." Sound like the same thing!
I've got to wonder, with all this spiritual warfare going on, with all this armor of God, etc. etc. can I let down my guard, even for a moment?
The Lord assured me that when
I'm in His Presence, I am safe.
So I shall make that a part of my prayer practice from this day on. I will ask the Lord to melt away barriers that are self-made and I will trust Him to cover me. I can't tell you that I understand that completely, but I know it's right. I don't want to be protected by some inadequate covering that I've developed myself, when God is offering something of much greater quality. I shall trust Him on this! Yes! I shall.
"I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you
with power through His Spirit in your inner being
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith."
Ephesians 3:16
And so I have left the altar a little lighter, yet more protected all the same -- by Him. "He is my refuge and my strength." (Psalm 46:1)
I love this closing...
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
And that is exactly why I trust Him with this -- with me -- with my very heart. Because with what little I do understand in this matter, I know that He knows I just want to give it all up for Him! I just want what He wants. I just want to be who He has called me to be. And I don't want to get in the way of that happening. He's the only one that can take my life and elevate it to a level that I could never have dreamed of.
Take my life and give me Jesus!
In Red shoes,
Gail
