It must be 80 degrees outside. What's better than that?
out the door one minute when the nice neighbor lady stopped by to chat.
And then it happened... out of my mouth came an onslaught of negativity. Yikes!
Where did that come from? That's not usually my area of difficulty per say.
But... well... I guess, Today it was!
"Jesus... Please forgive me!"
And I'm not joking when I pray that. I take very seriously what comes out of my mouth, and though it didn't last very long... I could have kicked myself. I should have kicked myself. It was totally unnecessary and unprofitable.
The neighbor lady is very nice. She just crossed the street to say hello and chat a bit. But somehow, I was caught off guard. I was tired. I didn't think quick enough.
"What do I talk to this lady about?"
"What do we have in common?"
Could I not have found something more uplifting, more interesting, more happy to talk about with her? Apparently not. And once I got started,it was like I couldn't stop myself. Immediately,
I recognized what was happening, but I couldn't seem to shut it down. - put a lid on it - zip it - lock it shut - and say no more! Nope... it just continued to flow from my mouth like water from a hose. Only this water wasn't refreshing at all. It was tainted.
Of course now, I can think of all sorts of positive options. We could have talked about the dog, or the weather, or her mom visiting, how pretty her lawn looked, how her boys were getting so big. And actually, we did end up talking about those things once I changed direction. As soon as I had the chance, I nicely ended our conversation and carried on walking the dog. Whew! Finally I was out of there.
Yes... I was mad at myself for going there... on negative ground. I heard it with my own ears and I didn't like the way it sounded. It was a messy speech of excuses and emotions that was going down from the moment it started. Sometimes I can rescue things in mid air and turn them around for the good, but this wasn't one of those occasions.
After asking God to flat out forgive me. I spent the day, open for divine feedback. I guess what stands out the most was the fact that this woman just wanted to chat. That was so obvious. Maybe she needed a friend? and I cut her short. I thought the problem was what I said. And to be honest... most people probably would not have even picked up on it. My ears tend to be overly sensitive to negativity. Perhaps I could have rebounded, changed the direction of the conversation, and then just listened. I'm not saying that what I did wasn't wrong. It was and The Holy Spirit checked me on it. I get that. But what God pointed out to me was "the need" -- her need. I was so focused on myself -- what I said, how it sounded, how it might be perceived, how I can do so much better -- that I missed what was really happening. I cut the visit short. I cut off the opportunity to minister to her. All I really had to do was be a friend and listen.
Well, I can still do that. I'll have to make it a point to get my feet, in RED shoes, and get over to her house this week. Perhaps I'll bring her some daisies.
"Don't you think that daisies are the friendliest flowers?"
Meg Ryan - You've Got Mail
Lesson learned!
Gail
