Today I had an interesting conversation with Him. Seven months into The Red Shoe Project and I'm still seeking answers to some questions I have. Lately, I feel like I'm being unwound... kind of like a spool of thread. I, myself, have unwound thread from its spool, many times, but it's always been while I was sewing something. I think that God is just discarding all my thread. In fact, as I sit here writing this, He's confirming to me...
"I am discarding it -- all of it!
It's binding you up and it's keeping you from experiencing the fullness I have for you."
Okay... I wasn't quite expecting Him to answer me on the spot like that, but THANK YOU, Lord for clarifying!
(Talk about interactive blogging!)
I just now looked up the definition of "unwind." Here's what I found:
Unwind - Undo - Unwrap - Unbind
to repeatedly untwist and uncoil something from it's core.
Undo - Untie - Unknot
to take apart.
Unwrap - Uncover
to bring out in the open.
Unbind - Loosen
to release what's holding it all together.
Wow! It's not all that hard to conceive that LIFE has somehow wrapped itself around me in a way that's so binding that I'm unable to move for God in the way He desires. But it seems God has a plan. He's at work... in me! He's unwinding my life, loosing me of things that I don't even realize are a hinderance to what He wants to do in and through me in the future.
I'm all for it -- FREEDOM!
Okay... so back to my day. During my prayer walk, I cut across the desolate land where the garden is. What can I say? I wanted to take a picture of it. As I was leaving, I sensed the presence of God, so I took a moment to ask Him...
"What's going on?"
Why all the unwinding? Am I really still all wrapped up?
Even after 211 Days?
With that said, He responded in the quietest whisper that penetrated into the depths of my soul...
"I'm doing a DEEP work in you."
After showering and cleaning myself up, I finally sat down at my computer screen. What kind of deep work? God doesn't always go into great detail with me. But I had to wonder, "Is that all you got for me, Lord?" Oh well, I didn't have time to pursue it any further right now. I had some research to do.
Tomorrow's Bonfire is on "Intimacy with Christ." Three of our ladies will be sharing their thoughts on the subject. I'll be introducing them so, to prepare my heart, I thought I'd Google the theme and see what came up. I could never have anticipated what was about to happen.
Once again... He read my mail! God answered me before I even asked out loud. I wasn't on Google but a minute and something caught my eye. It was an interview between two well known ministers. Wondering what these two men of the cloth had to say on "Intimacy with God", I clicked. Long story short, they began to describe in detail what I was personally experiencing -- the whole "unwinding" thing. Then they began discussing what it meant in detail. I can't squeeze into this blog all that was said, but I will leave you with this paraphrased golden nugget:
"God gets us alone... strips everything from us... until there's nothing left -- but Him. It's a deeper experience than anything you could ever imagine. It takes total surrender... total death to the flesh. You'll be relying on Him -- not ever day -- but every second of every day. Ultimately He wants to fill you to the brim with His Holy Spirit... all the way to the top so that just ONE MORE DROP of Him will produce an overflow that will reach others on His behalf. Your ministry is THE OVERFLOW!"
As I look back on today and all that God has done, I'm thinking that all this "unwinding" is a good thing, a great thing! That doesn't mean it's easy. It's more of that "dying to self" stuff. But at least I have a clue to what He's doing.
By faith, as I say goodnight to Him, I'm lifting my arms upward, in the shape of a cup, and shouting...
"Pour into me, Oh God!"
"Don't stop until I'm
overflowing!"
Going deeper...
in RED shoes,
Gail
