Earlier in the day, I read something online about being judgmental... of churches... of Christians... of people in general. I get that people can be passionate about sharing their wisdom with others... especially if they have learned the lesson themselves, "the hard way". I know that I'd love to see others learn from my mistakes and not have to go through all the difficulty of figuring it out on their own. Learning "the hard way" can be costly! What price did you pay to learn that last difficult, (but valuable), lesson? Was your bank account depleted? Your reputation kicked down a notch? Maybe it cost you a treasured friendship? Or perhaps you spent way too much time going down the wrong path of discovery? Yeah, we'd all like to help someone we care about "get it" a little quicker and without losing the shirt off their backs. But you know what? I've rarely learned those "big" lessons from others, so I'm not sure why I'm so adamant about others learning them from me? I've determined to let go of that. Most often, I think people have to learn for themselves. And when it comes to our grown up kids...
We should be careful not to rob them
of figuring it out for themselves.
Learning it "the hard way" has great value.
It's where the passion is injected.
Personally, I find it difficult these days to find the time to focus on what others should be doing. I'm way too busy keeping myself in order. LOL! Seriously, I want to make sure that I'm doing the right thing... and that's time consuming in and of itself. Who has time to worry about how You should be doing something differently? Not me.
Ok... so believe me when I say that I'm not trying to be insensitive here. I have found, however, (looking back over my 30 years as a Believer), when I have judged someone, rarely did I have all the information necessary to make an adequate assessment. There were times that I jumped the gun and thought I understood the scope of it all, only to discover later that I really didn't have a clue. On occasion, I was so far removed from the playing field, that I should have kept my ignorant comments to myself. Have you heard the term, Arm Chair Quarterback? or perhaps Back Seat Driver? Yikes! How often have I spouted my thoughts from the back seat? and without a driver's license no less? Not to mention that, at the time, I never thought that I didn't know what I was talking about. In fact, quite the opposite. I believed my opinion was right!
It's amazing how I can give great advice without having any real experience on a matter. God has often taken care of that by "Putting the shoe on the other foot"... On my foot that is. That's right, I thought I had all the answers until one day, quite unexpectedly, I found myself in that very same situation, that I had so easily judged someone else. How humbling that can be! That's when "my eyes were opened" and I really "got it!" I've always been deeply grieved over those eye opening lessons. I've found myself repenting and asking God for forgiveness. I'm usually quiet for a long time after that.
I become a better observer... a better listener... a better understander... a better sympathizer. It didn't take many of those lessons to change my way to God's way.
In scripture (Matthew 7:1-6), Jesus exhorts me not to judge others of their issues, (which He points out are rather small in comparison to mine), but instead to focus my attention on working through what's on my own plate. Hmmmm
Yes... focusing on the issues of others can be a great distraction from what's going on in My life! But working on Your issues doesn't help Me a bit! Before God... You are responsible for your stuff, and I am responsible for my stuff. So I've got a lot of work to do. Should you want my advice... don't hesitate to ask. But even then... I encourage you to go to God for your direction and guidance. Not only does He have all the answers, but He knows you and your situation better than even you do, yourself.
So I'm off to ponder these thoughts for myself, praying that I'll be more loving and patient with my kids, my friends, and those around me. Meanwhile, I'm slipping my RED Shoes back on, and heading back on the road for whatever God has in store for me next.
Love you all!
Gail
