The toil of life has it's residue: Doom -- Gloom -- Negativity -- Restlessness -- Deceit -- Lies -- Gossip -- Heaviness -- Doubt -- Trouble -- Stress -- Aches -- and Pains.
Sometimes I just have to shake that stuff off me. Other times I have to shower it off. And when none of that works... I have to pray it off, in Jesus' Name! That does the trick every time!
Today was just the opposite though. As a Christian, searching for God, outside the comforts of my home, can be overwhelming... in a good way. How can I explain that? As you know, I've been seeking more and more the heart of God. Today, I experienced a couple things in which God decided to reveal His heart to me. He did that by flooding my heart with His emotions. That kind of sharing in partnership can be divinely explosive! Whooosh! Watch out! His feelings are not like mine. They are intensely powerful! It can leave a girl thinking...
"That's it, I'm done!
God's gonna kill me right here and now!"
I won't say, "Stop! It's too much!" I refuse to say that! I'll take all that God wants to share... and if I die, I die. I want to see what He sees! I want to feel what He feels! I want to know His thoughts on things!
It sounds so awesome... and I guess it is awesome, but it has its challenges. The picture that pops in my mind is King Kong at the top of the Empire State Building with that beautiful girl in his hand as he swats the airplanes attacking him. If her grips her too tightly, he'll crush every bone in her body. Of course, I realize that's just a movie and a human perspective of things. I know that God is very aware of His strength, not to mention my frailty... but His power can be somewhat intimidating.
It started at The Bonfire Bible study. Three women were asked to give a short presentation on "The Intimacy of Christ." They all had good things to share. My friend, Zeva, was the last to go. Instead of speaking, she decided to portray God's intimacy through dance. First, she humbly shared -- so intimately -- about her personal relationship with God. Then she concluded with a jewish marriage dance which she performed unto the Lord. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I had to do everything in my strength to not fall to the floor and cry like a baby. I was awestruck!
"awestruck" = struck with wonder, amazed, at a loss for words, reverential, terrified, afraid, fearful.
What was it I was feeling? Had God poured His applause for her actions into my heart? WOW! Even now, as I reminisce and write it out for you, I am brought to tears. It was glorious! Thank You for sharing your thoughts with me, Oh Lord!
If that weren't amazing enough, I had a meeting with my Giving Circle later in the day. Today our group was hearing presentations from three non-profit organizations in the community. We will determine in the upcoming month which of the three will receive the donation that we've been gathering up these last six months.
All three of the presentations were outstanding. All of them are doing great work in the community. All three are meeting critically vital needs of people. How does one choose, which one? When all the presenters left, and a few of us women still remained, I thought I was about to lose my composure completely.
I asked the ladies if anyone would like to join me in prayer. Six or seven of us gathered in a circle and joined hands. Several of us lifted our voices to God. We weren't looking for God to specifically decide which one was to be the recipient. All of them are worthy of it. My prayer was that God would somehow provide financial gifts to those who don't receive ours. Another prayer was that God would use us in our community to give abundantly to those making a difference. Still another prayed that God would show us the bigger picture... how we might impact others to give generously to such causes. The whole time it felt as if electricity was flowing through my body.
I wept.
Right there...
in the middle of this group
of businesswomen,
I wept.
I could feel the tears rolling down my face. I could hear them hitting the carpet below me. Who cares! I was lost in the grief that filled my heart over the atrocities of man.
These two meetings today... they had to be two of the most moving moments of my life! Sensing the love of God and the grief of God, all in one day. I'm amazed that I'm still alive to tell of it. All I can say is...
Our God is an Awesome God!
Thank you Jesus for Today.
In RED shoes,
Gail
