I started today, right where I left off yesterday... thinking about Kami's perspective on spiritual warfare. I woke up rather abruptly to an awful dream. In it, I was lost and without hope! When my eyes opened and I realized I was dreaming, I looked right into the corner of the room for that demon spirit that was trying to do me in before I even got out of bed. I immediately took action and put on the full armor of God. Kam's perspective put everything into proper context. I took a whole different approach to things today.
That doesn't mean the enemy just rolled over and gave up. The day certainly had its challenges. The opposition was relentless. Just as I seemed to be making headway, the oppression set in again and again. I remembered yesterday's Bible study. Several women each shared their own particular ways of putting on the armor of God. I tried them all.
BREAKTHROUGH!
- a sudden, dramatic and important discovery or development.
- a significant and dramatic overcoming of a perceived obstacle allowing the completion of a process.
"What is going on?" I thought. The enemy just wouldn't back off! There can be only one reason for that. I must be on the verge of a mighty breakthrough. I must be right on the edge of a divine move of God. That's always the time in which the enemy pours out all he's got -- all his lies... all his deceptions... all his temptations... all his tricks. As the day goes on, I find myself almost giving in. I seem to tire easily. I begin to question myself and where I'm at. I begin to question God.
Why do I do that? It all seems so easy when there's no pressure involved. There are certainly times when I talk up a storm and appear so strong... convincing myself that I have such great faith! LOL. I read my Bible and pray and think, "I can do all that, no sweat!"
But when the real test comes... I don't even realize that I'm being tested. And when it finally kicks in what's happening, I find that I'm not quite up to snuff. That is, I rarely do as well as I thought I would.
But when the real test comes... I don't even realize that I'm being tested. And when it finally kicks in what's happening, I find that I'm not quite up to snuff. That is, I rarely do as well as I thought I would.
I know that's why we have tests... so we can get a clear, accurate picture of where we're at. Each test shows us where we're weak. From there we can take proper action to build ourselves up.
It's only a matter of time before the re-test. Each test is an opportunity to practice, to see what works, to get it right. And even then, to get it right consistently. This is not a new message to me. It's a mere reminder that God is working spiritual muscle in my life!
It's only a matter of time before the re-test. Each test is an opportunity to practice, to see what works, to get it right. And even then, to get it right consistently. This is not a new message to me. It's a mere reminder that God is working spiritual muscle in my life!
Amidst all my failing efforts, God spoke a powerful word to me. He kept injecting this thought into my mind throughout the entire day:
"Dare to Believe, Gail!
Dare to Believe!"
He didn't stop. He kept throwing that word -- that answer -- that weapon to me until I finally got a ahold of it and began to use it in my defense. At one point, my mind was so bombarded with lies, I just started speaking it out... repeating it over and over again: "I'm daring to believe! I'm daring to believe! I'm daring to believe that what God has said will come to pass!" I found that as long as I could keep my mind filled with those words, there was no room for the lies. The door of my mind was closed to any passing thoughts. Amazingly, that seemed to work really well.
Between all the battles that were encountered this day, (and there were many), there were also sprinkles of joy that put a smile on my face. Favors from friends. Conversations of love. Cards and gifts. Warm wishes and words of encouragement. Not to mention, a wonderful birthday dinner. There was even a bouquet of daisies! Thank you for them all. They made a difference. I felt loved!
Now, I'm tired. I'm kicking off my fatigues for the day -- that includes my RED shoes. Who knows what tomorrow holds. I'm ready to pick up where I left off, if necessary. But tomorrow could also be Victory Day! If so, I will do a victory dance. Whatever the case. I will be wearing my RED shoes and trusting God to bring me through, because...
I'm Daring to BELIEVE!
Gail
